猫咪AV

Weathering life鈥檚 unforeseen forecasts

by Kassandra A. Buenafe, OfCom | Feb 20 2025

The flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil can set off a tornado in Texas. 

In the early 1960s, meteorologist Edward Lopez introduced the idea that infinitesimal changes in a complex system’s initial conditions can result in dramatic and gigantic outcomes. Called the butterfly effect, this theory postulates that tiny differences in input values for weather models result in drastically different forecasts.

It was a hot Monday morning for Ryan Himongala. The air was humid, and he was already sweating as he walked from one building to the next. He was still not enrolled. 

Like many ambitious 18-year-olds about to enter college, Ryan had a well-crafted plan for his academic journey. Having graduated from the Humanities strand in Senior High School, he initially set his sights on a degree in Psychology. In his mind, the path was clear—earn his bachelor’s degree, become a psychologist, and help people struggling with emotional and mental challenges.

But Ryan wasn’t a psychologist, nor was he able to pursue the degree he so wanted. Instead, on a silver-lined sky afternoon on the last day of January 2025,  I was interviewing an old friend whom I haven’t had the pleasure to sit with for a very long time after we got entangled in the chaos of adulthood, now a graduating student in the graduate degree program, Master of Science in Computer Applications, for the 55th Commencement Ceremonies, 1st Semester Graduation.

I remember Ryan as a quiet and timid classmate in Senior High School, the one who did not say much but always got the work done, the one who you would want to be groupmates with, the one who enjoyed the social sciences classes we had in our strand. 

Sitting in the comfort of our shared familiarity, I asked, “How did this detour happen?” 

We go back to that one hot Monday morning. He was alone when he went from one college building to the next. His heart pounded—not from the heat but from the weight of uncertainty. He wasn’t enrolled yet. The College of Arts and Social Sciences had no more slots. His dreams of studying Psychology seemed to shrink with every step he took.

He told me that he had listed his name in every department that accommodated waitlist students. They were told to anticipate a call, but there was no hint of assurance. 

“Kulbaan kaayo ko ato, kay kamo ato na time enrolled namo, ako wala pa, hapit na magsugod ang klase,” Ryan said, looking back on the pressure he had felt. 

Holding on to his brown envelope containing his enrollment documents, Ryan found his way to the last College he would inquire about, the College of Computer Studies. He went to the Department of Computer Applications and repeated the same script of desperation he had spoken throughout the morning. To his surprise, instead of being told to wait for an uncertain call, he was simply asked to write his name on a list. Expecting yet another round of deliberations, he glanced at the sheet and saw only a handful of names. It was then that he realized—this wasn’t a waitlist. It was the final list.

Before he even knew it, he was already a Computer Applications student. 

“Ako gi-think ato mu-shift nalang ko sa Psychology inig second sem,” he said. 

Left with no choice but to grab what was available, Ryan found himself immersed in a foreign territory. 

“How did you manage to survive the semester when it was mostly numbers and worse… coding?” I asked, amazed but baffled by the fact that this was completely different from what we loved to learn in high school. 

“Surprisingly… I got interested along the way,” he replied, “but it was really difficult, naglisod ko ug adjust especially with Calculus.”

At first, every lesson felt like an uphill battle for him—concepts that seemed abstract and the feeling of being not enough lurked because he came from a background that leaned toward a completely different field. But despite challenges like receiving an incomplete grade in a semester, he loved what he was learning enough to keep striving. Ryan graduated Cum Laude in 2022, with a stellar reputation in leadership having been awarded as the College Service Awardee after his term as the Governor of their college. His whole undergraduate journey was full of small sparks discovered, moments of realization that he was capable of more than he had imagined, and finding things that were worth loving despite the setback.

But after graduating, Ryan was left again with the dilemma of not knowing where to go. Before pursuing his master’s degree, Ryan had hesitations because he was held captive by his own doubts and self-disparaging thoughts. 

One day, when he submitted their hardbound undergraduate thesis, he caught a glimpse of a list on the table of those who would want to apply for an Engineering Research and Development for Technology (ERDT) scholarship. A friend’s name was there. 

“If she can do it, why don’t I give myself a chance?” he thought to himself. And that accidental glance was only the beginning of a changed trajectory in his life. 

In our talk, we were able to look back on the moment when he got accepted for the scholarship. In the early morning from the night that we were hanging out together with our other friends, I could still remember how ecstatic everyone was when Ryan was notified about his admission. The running joke was, “One less lost, unemployed fresh grad!” 

With determination and a newfound purpose, Ryan braved the ordeals of a graduate student. This time, it was a route filled with doubled stress and expectations. It was not easy, but he was doing something that truly mattered to him—pushing his limits and expanding his knowledge. He was specifically interested in software development, which his thesis revolved around.

It was a truly fulfilling journey for him, shared with his closest college classmates. Amidst his demanding schedule of laboratory work and extensive readings, Ryan still made time to engage in community service. He participated in outreach programs in the city’s hinterlands and served as a resource speaker and trainer for high school students and teachers in robotics. Everything was falling into place.

But life, much like the weather, can be unpredictable. A bright morning can suddenly give way to afternoon rain. His story is not one without heartbreak. He did not graduate as planned.

A common narrative among mid-year graduates, Ryan’s story is also about taking longer to the finish line than expected. He was set to walk down the graduation aisle last July, but unforeseen circumstances during his thesis revisions prevented him from doing so. Among the seven graduating candidates of their program, he was the only one who couldn’t make it that time.

"Lisod siya i-accept at first kay pwede paman gud unta to," he admitted, reflecting on the deep frustration. But to avoid further complicating the situation, he made the painful decision to delay his graduation—putting things on hold despite feeling like he was so close, so ready. 

Nights of crying and mornings of self-doubt, it was inevitable for Ryan to question whether the extra months of waiting were worth it. With a notice of acceptance of admission to the Straight Doctor of Philosophy in Artificial Intelligence of the National Graduate School of Engineering at UP Diliman slipping right through his hands because of what happened, the aches of what could have been lingered for quite some time. 

But the thing about this life is that no matter how thunderous or how serene it is, everything has its own kind of ephemerality. Nothing really lasts. 

We cannot force some things, but how we react to them is within our control; Ryan and I both pondered on them.

Ryan was able to finish his revisions after the July graduation in 2024, he enrolled for the summer term for his thesis and spent the months waiting for this graduation, recalibrating himself and enjoying it with his loved ones.

“Just like a program code, you will really encounter bugs or errors along the way, you cannot avoid it. But if you keep on debugging, you will see progress little by little, and each fix brings you a little closer to a better version of yourself,” he concluded sentimentally. 

Ryan has gained a whole new perspective on life and is eager to work in the software industry, hopeful of discovering what it’s like to finally apply what he learned in the academe. With the intention of excelling in his future workplace, Ryan is determined to achieve growth and to be mindful always to keep things at his own pace. No regrets were felt, only reflective retrospections. 

Slight changes in the forecasts of his life led him to this conversation—shared inside the office where I now work, two people from the past, seated across from each other. I’m looking at a friend who has weathered life’s pains and disappointments, bigger than what we shared in high school.

We said our goodbyes, and I was keenly aware of the mileage of who we are now as people and how much we have grown.

Isn’t it comforting to hear that we are where we are supposed to be? 

Topics :